Invitation Etiquette

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Your wedding invitation is the first formal approach to set the mood for the wedding and reception. It is important to recognize the formalities and etiquette prior to sending the invite to your guests. The slightest mishap can alter the impression you are trying to set for your big day, so make sure to dot your I’s and cross your T’s with this Do’s and Don’ts checklist.

Do’s

• Do use the third person for formal invitations
• Do use the phrase “request the honor of your presence” for a ceremony in a church
• Do use the phrase “request the pleasure of your company” for an off-site ceremony
• Do spell out numbers in the date and the year. (twenty-fifth of September)
• Do spell out numerals in times. (five after five o’clock)
• Do capitalize the first word of the invitation and all proper nouns.
• Do name titles for medical doctors, doctor should be spelled out.

Don’ts

• Don’t use commas or periods at the end of a line, line breaks serve as punctuation.
• Don’t include any reference to gifts or the registry.
• Don’t hint that you are not allowing children. Have this information conveyed by family, bridesmaids, and other friends.
• Don’t include information about post-wedding events on the invitation itself. Rehearsal dinner, bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and day-after brunch deserve their own invitation.

Wedding Envelopes

Addressing the Envelope

You can hand address or screen print the envelope, but make sure that you address each guest properly. The outside of the envelope is their first impression, and you don’t want to seem impersonal. One of the easiest ways to address invitations is to print labels; however, this often lacks a personal touch that is admired by guests. Put yourself in the guests’ shoes when addressing the envelope- have that personal touch be the first thing they see.

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Guidelines:

• Spell out avenue, street, apartment, state names, and doctor.
• Names of married couples should be addressed on the same line. Names of unmarried couples should go on two separate lines with the name of the person you know first. If you know both, put the woman’s name first. Same rule applies to gay couples, alphabetically order names.
• Family invites- write the parents name on the outside envelope and address the parents and children on the inside envelope. If you are not using an inside envelop, state parents names and “and family” on the outside envelope.
• If someone is bringing a guest to the wedding, try your hardest to find out their name and address both names on the envelope.
• Place the return address on the back flap of the envelope.
• Use titles and full names for formal invitations.
• Use titles for doctors, judges, government, officials, clergy members, and military officers.

Closing the Envelope

• The invitation fold should be in the bottom of the envelope, facing so a right handed person can remove the invitation and begin reading.
• Enclosure cards are stacked on top of the invitation. The largest enclosure should be the closest to the invitation, continue in decreasing size.
• Place a stamp on the front that will not be a distraction

Sending Thank You Notes

Writing thank you notes is the largest task for the bride and groom to complete throughout the engagement and wedding process. Start keeping track of gifts early to prevent confusion on who gifted what. Also remember to write thank you notes to people that helped host showers, parties, and organize details. To prevent getting overwhelmed with the number of cards you need to write, set aside time each week to complete a handful.

Thank you Deadlines:

Engagement Gifts                     3 Weeks
Bridal Shower                            3 Weeks
Wedding Gifts                       3 Months from the arrival of the gift

After all gifts have been received, and you begin writing your thank you notes, the message can start sounding repetitive. Use the following outline to properly show appreciation.

1. Thank the person for the gift.
2. Describe how you will use the gift.
3. State how lovely it was to see them at the wedding festivities if they were able to attend. If they were present make a compliment on their attire or dancing ability. If they were unable to attend, express how sorry you were that they weren’t able to be there.
4. Reference a future visit or get-together.

Thank you Etiquette:

• If you will be sending thank you cards out prior to the wedding, your new name should not be used. Wait until after the wedding to formally sign your new last name.

• Always hand write the thank you notes and envelopes. That person took time out of their life to get you a gift, take a little time out of your to show appreciation for their gesture.

• Do not complete your thank you notes while on your honeymoon, your guests will willingly wait a few more weeks.