Invitation Etiquette

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Your wedding invitation is the first formal approach to set the mood for the wedding and reception. It is important to recognize the formalities and etiquette prior to sending the invite to your guests. The slightest mishap can alter the impression you are trying to set for your big day, so make sure to dot your I’s and cross your T’s with this Do’s and Don’ts checklist.

Do’s

• Do use the third person for formal invitations
• Do use the phrase “request the honor of your presence” for a ceremony in a church
• Do use the phrase “request the pleasure of your company” for an off-site ceremony
• Do spell out numbers in the date and the year. (twenty-fifth of September)
• Do spell out numerals in times. (five after five o’clock)
• Do capitalize the first word of the invitation and all proper nouns.
• Do name titles for medical doctors, doctor should be spelled out.

Don’ts

• Don’t use commas or periods at the end of a line, line breaks serve as punctuation.
• Don’t include any reference to gifts or the registry.
• Don’t hint that you are not allowing children. Have this information conveyed by family, bridesmaids, and other friends.
• Don’t include information about post-wedding events on the invitation itself. Rehearsal dinner, bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and day-after brunch deserve their own invitation.

Wedding Envelopes

Addressing the Envelope

You can hand address or screen print the envelope, but make sure that you address each guest properly. The outside of the envelope is their first impression, and you don’t want to seem impersonal. One of the easiest ways to address invitations is to print labels; however, this often lacks a personal touch that is admired by guests. Put yourself in the guests’ shoes when addressing the envelope- have that personal touch be the first thing they see.

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Guidelines:

• Spell out avenue, street, apartment, state names, and doctor.
• Names of married couples should be addressed on the same line. Names of unmarried couples should go on two separate lines with the name of the person you know first. If you know both, put the woman’s name first. Same rule applies to gay couples, alphabetically order names.
• Family invites- write the parents name on the outside envelope and address the parents and children on the inside envelope. If you are not using an inside envelop, state parents names and “and family” on the outside envelope.
• If someone is bringing a guest to the wedding, try your hardest to find out their name and address both names on the envelope.
• Place the return address on the back flap of the envelope.
• Use titles and full names for formal invitations.
• Use titles for doctors, judges, government, officials, clergy members, and military officers.

Closing the Envelope

• The invitation fold should be in the bottom of the envelope, facing so a right handed person can remove the invitation and begin reading.
• Enclosure cards are stacked on top of the invitation. The largest enclosure should be the closest to the invitation, continue in decreasing size.
• Place a stamp on the front that will not be a distraction

What to Include with Your Invitations

When mailing your invitations, you may need to provide guests with more than just a reply card. You don’t want your guests to feel as they have just received a mass mailing, so evaluate how important each piece of information is to their plans. Minor details can be provided through a different mean of communication, such as the wedding website.

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Optional Invitation Enclosures

Map & Directions: Out-of-Town guests appreciate directions to the ceremony and reception. It helps them make arrangements for hotels and transportation. The Cotillion can provide you with a high resolution map for your invitations.


Accommodation Cards: Out-of-town guests would enjoy staying at a hotel where other members of the family will be staying as well. This will help coordinate transportation and convenience. Blocking off rooms and providing reservation contact information and a special rate greatly help. The Cotillion has preferred rates at venues throughout the Kansas City area.


Transportation Cards: Makes guests aware if you are providing transportation for them on the day of the wedding.


Pew Cards: Lets relatives and close friends know that they will have a reserved pew at the ceremony. Selected guests will provide this card to the usher to be seated in the reserved section.


Website Address: Creating a wedding website is a cost effective way to inform guests about wedding festivity details.


Ceremony Cards: Informs guests if they are invited to the ceremony in addition to the reception. This card is used for small ceremonies with a large reception.


At Home Address: Provides guests of the new address of the couple.


Bridal Shower, Parties, & Rehearsal Dinner: Separate invitation should be mailed.

Invitation Wording

Looking for the right words to put on your invitations… fear not! I have put together a fool proof guide to generate the perfect wording for your wedding invitations. The invitation is the first formal approach to set the mood for the wedding and reception. For example, black and white formal written invitations gives guests the impression that the event is going to be very classy, whereas invitations with artistic design and bright colors give guests the impression that the event is going to be more informal.

Formal Invitation Wording

1^st Line: tells who is extending the invitation

2^nd Line: tells the guests what they are being invited to

3^rd Line: the brides name goes first

4^th Line: “to” for traditional Christian wedding

5^th Line: grooms name

6^th Line: Date and time

7^th Line: Address

8^th Line: Attire (Black Tie)

Bride’s parents are hosting the wedding:

Mr. and Mrs. Danny Robert Beach

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their daughter

Christina Lynn Beach

to

Christopher Eric Hopkins

Bride’s parents are hosting but you want to recognize the groom’s parents too:

Mr. and Mrs. Danny Robert Beach

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their daughter

Christina Lynn Beach

to

Christopher Eric Hopkins

Son of Mr. and Mrs. Spencer Hopkins

If the groom’s parents are hosting the wedding:

Mr. and Mrs. Spencer Ross Hopkins

Request the honor of your presence

At the marriage of their son

Christopher Eric Hopkins

To

Christina Lynn Beach

If the couple is hosting the wedding:

Christina Lynn Beach and Christopher Eric Hopkins

request the pleasure of your company

at their marriage

on Saturday, the sixteenth of October

two thousand and ten.

If the couple is hosting but wants to include their parents:

Together with their families

Christina Lynn Beach and Christopher Eric Hopkins

request the pleasure of your company

at their marriage.

If parents are divorced and not remarried or are hosting without their spouses:

Mrs. Martha Beach / Mr. Danny Beach

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their daughter.

If parents are divorced and remarried:

Mrs. Martha Travis and Mr. Damon Travis

and

Mr. Danny Beach

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their daughter.

Reception Only Wording

Just Married!

Please celebrate our marriage

Cocktails, Dinner, and Dancing

Saturday, the fifteenth of October

At six o’clock in the evening

The Cotillion

1717 Burdett Crossing

Blue Springs, MO 64015